Guilty by Dissociation

I am indifferent. Drifting along in an unchanging, monotonous stream of hypocrisy and pretty lies. I, the ever-changing creature of light and dark, find myself unable to reason a change at all. Unable to connect a thought to an emotion. Unable to look at Eden and touch her life and intervene to make it change for the better. I, always strong, always stout, am growing weaker. My therapist says I have an amazing defense mechanism. Yeah, if not being able to grasp reality is amazing.

She was here...I know it wasn't a dream. I held her. I touched her face. I kissed those lips. I've seen those eyes. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a dream. Whether or not it was doctored up reality, it still was not a dream. I have her travel toothbrush. Her hair is on my pillowcase. My front seat has a tiny burn hole in it. My clothes smelled like her until I washed them. Tangible reality in my world is non tangible matter in yours.

There is a significant difference between being alone and being lonely. I am alone - meaning I have no company and there is only me and the whispers in my head. My heart is lonely - meaning it doesn't know why it's beating without Eden's next to it. 


SIGNIFICANT ONLY TO THOSE WHO FEEL THE PRICK, NOT JUST SEE THE BLOOD.


I'M TOO LAZY TO MAKE TEA.