I get angry a lot. I rage over something pretty trivial almost every day. Today it's my phone charging. Not chargER, chargING. Yeah. Apparently I can no longer talk on my phone while it's charging because it will incessantly beep in my ear starting and stopping the charge. It's not Eden's fault, but that doesn't really matter, does it? She's there, she's the one that called me and made it happen, take it out on her. She gets upset with me (norly?), I get more pissed off, she's talking, all I hear is beeps, I got fucking sick of it and hung up on her. Not to end our pointless conversation of "What?" "asdfasdfa" "What?" but to get the hell away from that goddamn beep. I'm calming down, but I'll be in a shitty mood for the rest of the day unless I get fucked up. That's just how it works lately. Pissed off? Smoke weed. Can't stop shaking? There's a Xanax for that. So pissed off that it hurts? Pink 10's fix it right up.
Not to mention my environment is depressing. I live with my mom. Yeah. The bitch hasn't been in my life since I was 9 and now I live with her? What? Someone just fucking kill me and get it over with already. I'm hoping my luck will turn around...Yesterday, I came across a necklace charm in my backpack (I guess it's been in there for years) and it's the Chinese symbol for Luck. Well, the way I picked it up, it looked like it said "EVIL" on a part of it and it freaked me out. I didn't want to throw it away and I didn't want to give it to someone else, but the superstitious part of me knew that if someone else didn't touch it, I'd be stuck with it forever. So I gave it someone and it will probably give them GOOD luck. Maybe I'm just cursed - I've said that for years, but I really do think so. How else would one explain my life? It's been nothing but bad luck and fuck ups and good situations suddenly gone wrong. For NO reason.
It's Justin's birthday (my ex) today. He's 21. I shot him a birthday text this morning and told him I'll call him this evening. (Is that weird?) It's also mine and Eden's 1 year 5 month anniversary. I can't believe it's already been that long. We won't celebrate or anything. Not until our 2 year probably - or next month. That's really up to her. Happy Tuesday!
