Oh my GOD, it's 10am and I'm already overwhelmed by thoughts and processes and 2 lazy dogs.. So Eden woke me up last night and something went wrong and she got mad and told me to go back to sleep. I don't know. So I tried. I slept for maybe half an hour at a time with periods of being awake and staring at my blackened laptop screen, wondering if she was staring at hers too. I thought I heard typing, but I wasn't getting any messages, so I just ignored it. This morning I woke to a link that directed me to a particular Deviation that had basically just been submitted. Some girl from her high school wrote a long, and I mean long (but also accurate and beautiful), description of Eden and started the whole thing with, "I love her. I realize that now. I always have from the first day I met her." ....buh?? I always thought I'd be so pissed if someone else was in love with my significant other...but I'm not, I'm just...sad.. I'm sad that she has to feel the pain of loving someone that can't love her in return. I'm sad that she never tried to be with her and if she did, I'm sad for what went wrong. I love Eden. More than myself, more than anything. She's the air I breathe and the light I see by. I know how amazing she is and how easy it is to love her. I was ready to marry her after 2 weeks of knowing her, but she wouldn't give me the time of day. I mean, that girl had me on my ass. I can only imagine what years of that would do to a person... I'm totally on Eden's side, don't get me wrong. That girl did some horrible things to her. But looking back at it from my own perspective...who's to say it wasn't an eye for an eye? Oh, and trust and believe that if she ever pursues Eden, I will track her down like fucking Steve Irwin and that dude was crazy as hell. I think today is going to be one of those days that I just sit at my laptop and constantly update my blog because I have so much on my mind and absolutely nothing to do today. Which is good...cos I'm getting tired of writing this. I said my piece/peace (whichever you prefer) and I'm done with it. I'll be back later.
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