So I kind of cracked last night, reader(s). I pretty much made up my mind to say fuck the last 20 years of my life. I've never done things the way I wanted to; I always moved according what my family would say. Not anymore. I'm not a lipstick lesbian; those are the ones I like. I'm not a butch either, but I'm definitely not girlie. I wear boxers and loose jeans and collared shirts and long shorts and wife beaters. Tennis shoes, flip flops, or boots, please. I feel like if I'm handed a pair of heels again and am truly expected to wear them...again...I'm going to dig someone's eyes out with them. I've always had fairly long hair. I think people get too attached to their hair and start using it as an identification, so I'm cutting it off. I'm not shaving my head cos it would look too weird on me (I would do it, otherwise), but I am cutting it pretty short. I'll probably follow that up with some piercings and/or tattoos along with a new wardrobe. I don't need someone else to give me a "make-over," I don't need someone to do my nails and my make up and my hair and dress me in clothes that "accentuate my body shape." ...Rant complete.
Aside from that, I was pretty upset about not being able to remember most of my life. Where did it go? Who can fill the blanks? Why haven't/won't they? When a stranger comes up to me and calls me by an alter's name...I hate it. I don't know who I know, what I've done, where I've gone, when it happened, or why it continues to happen. I do know one thing though... Avana's not going to be particularly thrilled about the hair cut.. I'm keeping her clothes, though. I'm keeping everyone's clothes except Emily's. She needs new things. Laia just wears my clothes, so that works out. I don't know you guys...I'm like a scared little kid that's pretending to be brave..
Labels: General
