So Eden's flight is delayed. She won't be here until tomorrow afternoon. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I should have known; the right side of my head started hurting right before she left for the airport and I felt nauseous. I don't think I'm okay right now.
This is why I never get my hopes up. I never get excited. I never let my guard down. I'm usually not 'disappointed' and afterward I feel pretty silly for it. And what happens the first time I allow myself to be excited, to get my hopes up, and to let my guard down? Her flight got delayed and she would miss her connecting flight. FUCK. I'm just angry and everyone knows that yelling profanity is a good outlet. It's angry, it's loud, it's...helpful.
Funny thing is - even though I'm pretty messed up over this - I still have my hopes up for tomorrow. I'm still excited. I can't imagine what's happening for her right now with the BPD..
I can't do this right now..
Labels: General
